Have you ever heard of an empath? You know, these select people who apparently feel the feelings of others, can even predict them, just as deeply as they themselves do, if not more so? This term started sneaking its way into my vernacular a couple of decades ago, and always felt kind of like psycho-babbly, pseudo-science-y nonsense. There was little to no research on the matter, and it sometimes felt to me, being perfectly honest, as an excuse for emotional dysregulation and mismanagement.
Yeah, I used to think this whole idea was woo-woo bullshit. I don’t feel that way anymore.
I have a number of clients who are moms in their 40s and 50s, tending to two or, more often, three generations of humans within and often outside of their families. I’ve written before about the outsized, often invisible workloads so many of these women carry. For their teenagers or young adults, they check in to make sure their kids are not overwhelmed, and they’re set up to achieve their goals, to get where they want to go in a given day, or in life. They go out of their way to ensure their people have all the tools they can provide to support them. They are also part-time vigilantes, ensuring their kids are safe when they’re out day or night. Overall, they want their children to feel emotionally safe and loved. This can be particularly tricky in the age of social media, one rife with the lack of likes or comments, or a space in which one bitter remark can strike hard at a child’s self-esteem.
This alone can be a taxing, full-time gig.
You can read more from Dr. John Duffy, author of Rescuing Our Sons, on Substack, his blog, or listen to podcasts here.